Please do not talk to the bird.

 

For years, Jenny Morton ran an antique store.  Now she was calling it quits.  She wanted to retire, sell the store and its contents to whoever wanted it.  She had dreams of moving to Florida and living a quiet but enjoyable life in a condo.  It would have a swimming pool and fun neighbors her own age.  Never again would she be clearing sidewalks of snow and ice.  No more would she listen to her frozen car attempt to start in the early mornings, hoping it would get her to work. 

          Twice she checked her inventory list and then went through her bank statement.  Her finances were in order, the place was clean and the only thing remaining was the one thing she had been putting off.  Mr. Henderson was her pet crow.  During business hours he sat on a perch by the cash register.  The customers knew him and most everyone would talk to him.  Only on rare occasions did he answer.  Jenny was hoping whoever bought the store would also accept Mr. Henderson.  There was no way she would take him along to Florida.  She spent hours writing the ad for the classifieds.

Antique Shop for Sale.  Good location includes
           inventory.  Sales history available to serious buyers.
       The building is included and has been maintained.
Survivor contract a must.
Phone for details.  (646) 588-3287

 

It was, of course, the survivor contract that nobody seemed to know about or understand.  Jenny would explain it in person to the right buyer.  She knew exactly the type of person she was looking for.  They didn’t need an extensive knowledge of antiques, or need to know anything about the area.  What Jenny was looking for was someone who would, for the remainder of his life, take care of Mr. Henderson.  He was to go with the store.

          Jenny Morton sat with her attorney throughout most of the morning, spelling out exactly what the new owner of the store would be required to do.  The crow, Mr. Henderson, must be allowed to remain in the store as long as he wanted.  He must be fed his favorite sunflower seeds, along with the Purina mixture from the pet shop on Lexington Avenue and 18^th Street and be given fresh water every day.

          Mr. Henderson must be taken to the local veterinarian should anything happen, or in case he became ill.  All money that has been set aside for his care must be used only for the crow and nothing else.  An exact accounting report is to be sent to the lawyer’s office every 90 days.  Upon the death of Mr. Henderson, the local veterinarian has been issued instructions and will turnover the remains to the taxidermy on 7^th Ave.  Once that process has been completed, he is to be returned to his perch in the antique store, taking his place by the register.  $40,000.00 has been placed into an account for Mr. Henderson, to be used only as specified. Once stuffed, a small sign is to be placed close to the perch.

                             

  Please do not talk to the bird  

he will no longer answer you.