It seems as though I've been traveling through this life with the brakes on. Somewhere in the back of my mind I guess I've always felt the drag. I didn't know what but something was always just a little off.
I didn't really see it in myself as much as I could see it in the faces of others as they were looking at me, like they were mentally asking themselves - what's the matter with him?
There were of course slight jumps forward, as if my personal tectonic plates would slip. Suddenly I'd catch on to fractions, or I'd discover the joy of ice cream. (Age 30ish)
Only after leaving a conversation, after I'd had time to mentally re-examine body language, facial expressions and replay the general syntax would I catch on to what was really being said; What some would call, a little slow on the up-take.
It wasn't that I was a dolt or misfit, I think I was always just a little too analytical, a touch too critical and I fell a tad short of the standard allotment of self-confidence. Add to that the build up of cynicism over the years from various encounters with salesmen and politicians and voila - here I am, warts and all.
Now - you are seeing me as the finished product, an introvert who seeks the shelter of his blog; far from the need for a speedy retort or from concerning himself with breath mints. I stay here, behind your monitor and ramble on and on while thinking of old friends and better times, and that seems fine for now.
Thanks for stopping in.
ZC
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