Itsy Bitsy - Case #65-4C

There was never a need for a line-up.  Nothing was ever in dispute.  The simple fact was: an ugly spider - spotted by the eye-witness was attempting to take up residence there in her bathtub.  Her scream alerted the only other person currently on the premises, an adult male, approximately 5’ 11”, 200 pounds.

Excessive force was never used; in fact, the Dyson has only one setting, which as it turns out, was more than sufficient to draw said perpetrator up – into the magic wand, sending him at great speed along the length of the hose and into the clump of awaiting dust, carpet fuzz, and cat hair.  Once there the impressive cyclone action kept him from escaping.

It was all over in less than a few seconds.  There were no on-lookers or gawkers to disperse, no traffic jams to speak of, and the evidence will show either Just Cause, or the less formal, Just B. Cause. 

Although the coroner report states the spider incurred several broken bones as a result of tumbling at high speed through the vacuum hose, the actual cause of death was listed as a severe allergic reaction to cat hair. 

 End of report

The distraught victim later told reporters, "This wasn't Itsy Bitsy."