An Odd Beet

 

 

            Fine tuning a hammer is more of an art than a science.  To the pedestrian it appears a simple percussion instrument not lending much to the wind section and for the most part completely unrelated to strings.  But upon closer scrutiny one discovers the significant influence of Handel. 

 

            Before I get into all of that, however, I thought I would go out to the kitchen for some ice cream or Schubert.   Much to my surprise - a madman had run amuck over by the butcher block.  He looked to be a real Mahler.

 

            I didn’t panic I just looked at him and said,  “Not to be Mendelssohn but what are you doing in my kitchen?”

 

            He got a sudden look of panic about him and grabbed a knife.  Waving it at me he said, “Get Bach.”

 

            Then he grunted and looked up at the portrait I had on the wall of Larry and Curly.  He asked,  “Whose is that?”

 

            I explained that it wasn’t mine, but it was Mozart.

 

            Apparently he didn’t like my humor.  With the knife still in his hand he began to whack the top of the butcher-block.

 

            “What are you doing?” I asked.

 

            “Chopin.” He replied.

 

 

            I’m not sure what caused it but a beet suddenly rolled off of the counter and landed on the floor just behind the madman. 

 

            Startled, he spun around to see who was behind him.  As he did I grabbed the hammer from the junk drawer and smacked him on the back of his head. 

 

 

             As he lay there on the kitchen floor I looked down at him and said,   “B-flat.”

 

 

 

(Nobody said they'd all be good)