A Mother's Warning

 I saw Cher on a talk show yesterday.  It was Cher’s voice, her sense of humor and speech pattern, but that was certainly not the face I saw standing next to Sonny all those years ago.

 

A lift here, a tuck there, a little Botox around this area...  There is a price we pay for trying to hang on.

 

No matter what the topic of conversation, Cher’s expression never changed during the entire interview.  It was like her Mother had been right all those years ago when she told her, 

“You keep making that face and it will freeze that way.”

Milk Money

  

I had to get through the entire box of cereal, but I finally found it, the little toy packed deep inside the carton.  It was sealed in a small, plastic pouch but looked nothing like the way it did on the TV commercial.  

I was totally bummed, but then I remembered seeing the advertisement on the side of the school bus for The Kid’s Lawyer.  Almost instantly I began to feel better.  

Their television commercial says that for the cost of your milk money, you too can have the skilled, professional legal representation you deserve.

Just to be sure, I waited to see the TV ad again before calling their 1-800 number.  

In the TV commercial there is an animated Tonka truck, painted up to look like an ambulance, and a little man with a briefcase running after it.  Then scrolling down the screen is a list of all the reasons for hiring The Kid’s Lawyer.

Unfair detention

Wrongly accused

Sibling Favoritism

Excessive homework

Unfair Playground practices

Always Picked Last

Crossing Guard Scuffles

False Toy Advertising

That was it!  That’s what this was.  The toy inside this cereal box was a blatant misrepresentation, and I wanted satisfaction.  

I called the number.

I remember

 

We no longer wipe the handle of the shopping cart with disinfectant before using it.  In fact, we no longer use a shopping cart at all.  We sit at home, usually in front of television, and do our shopping on our cell phone.  Nope, we don’t even talk to anyone, we do it all on-line.

Of course, the people I feel bad for are the marketing professionals who spent years in school learning about product placement.  Fighting with other manufacturers for eye-level shelf space, end cap displays and that ever popular impulse counter at the checkout.

Suddenly, our entire way of life has been altered by a bug so small that a flyswatter is useless against it.  And what about that?  The poor flyswatter makers, who by the way, haven’t changed their product in 5000 years, find themselves unemployed and defenseless against this pest.

I, for one, believe that 3-dimensional graphics should come with every on-line shopping experience.  This way, as Mom reaches the check-out now option on her phone or computer screen, the children will see colorful images of candy bars, Frito's, and toys.

“Hey Mom, stop, go back.  Mom, Mom, I need that, Mom… can we get that?’

Don’t you see, we’re missing the best part of shopping.