12 ounce can: $3.00

I'd like to buy a 12 ounce can of Spray Mute.  Better yet, I'd like to buy several cases of it.

I'd carry a can of it with me at all times.  I'd spray every speaker at the mall.  I'd spray every speaker in every store and in every supermarket. 

Like Johnny Appleseed but instead of planting trees I'd be planting quiet.  People could once again shop in silence.  They could walk through town in peace and quiet.

No one would be harmed except the seemingly endless supply of screechy, obnoxious singers, whose bad music goes on and on.

In fact, if I were rich, I'd make Spray Mute available for free to everyone who promised to spray responsibly, and give them enough to hand some out to their friends. 

Loud, annoying speakers everywhere would fall silent.  Eventually our planet, like all the others, could once again whirl quietly through space.


NOTE:  If the sprayer doesn't work on your Spray Mute, simply hold the can upside down and press the nozzle until you hear,


Shhhhhhh