Wednesday, May 20, 2015

9 to 3


 

 

It is the promise of tomorrow that gives us today’s courage.

 

                                                                     zc

 

 

Actual Post starts here:

 

Greetings,

 

I am back from my adventure.  My shoes are worn, my nerves shot and my lucky stars thanked. 

 

What began as a simple trip to the supermarket ended up with a state appointed attorney explaining my options - but let me back up a minute.

 

Armed with my shopping list I got into my car and headed out of the neighborhood towards the main road.  Just a few houses up on the right was a parked UPS truck.

 
  Just as I was going by – the driver of the truck stepped out onto the road but lost his footing and fell backward into the path of my car.  There was absolutely no time to brake, or swerve.  The front of my car hit him with an awful thud.  I slammed on the brakes, letting out a scream at the same time.  I instantly felt sick as a terrible shock ran up my spine.

 
I quickly got out of my car and went around to the front.  The UPS driver was sprawled out on the pavement and appeared to be unconscious.  As I knelt down to see if he was breathing I pulled my cell phone from my pocket to call 911.

 

I had not yet turned my phone on and so I pressed the on button and waited for a signal.  I didn’t want to touch the driver in case he had neck or back injuries, but I also didn’t want to just kneel there waiting for my phone.  I thought about running up to one of the houses to request help but then thought that some nosy neighbor would report they saw me running from the scene.  There would be no explaining that without sounding like a lunatic.  I opted to wait for my phone to come to life.

 

Just then I heard the UPS dispatch person coming from the driver’s radio.  I jumped up and into the truck and picked up the microphone. 

 

“Hello, this is a citizen; your driver has been injured.”

 

Where is he?

 

“He is currently lying in the road.”

 

Who is delivering the packages?

 

“Right now, nobody.”

 

Are you kidding me?  Put him on the phone!

 

“He’s not really conscious.”

 

Who did you say you are?

 

“I was driving by when your driver fell in front of my car.  It really wasn’t my fault.”

 

Do you see his electronic clipboard anywhere?

 

“Yes, it’s right here on the road.”

 

Pick it up and tell me what his last delivery was.

 

“Can’t you send an ambulance or something?”

 

Just read the address to me, the one on the screen.

 

“Wait, my phone just got a signal.  I’m calling 911.”

 

There was a long and complicated sequence of events that followed.  There was a prosecuting attorney who said I was responsible for keeping my vehicle under control no matter what.

There was my lawyer, supplied by the state, who kept questioning me as to why I didn’t deliver the UPS packages, and there eventually was a judge who I believe was listening to the ballgame through a small earpiece.  Really, I mean we all could see the wire.

Anyway, come to find out, it wasn't the UPS driver who I hit with my car but a manikin he was attempting to deliver.  It accidently got away from him as he was trying to carry it out of the truck.  It bounced off of the truck step and out into the path of my car.  I was so upset I didn't even notice it wasn't a real person.  All I noticed was it wasn't breathing.

The driver, seeing the accident he had just caused, scooted to the back of his truck and hid behind the boxes.

Eventually it all got sorted out when the emergency room doctor called the courthouse asking if this was some kind of joke.

No one thought it was funny except the judge, who snickered a little and then dismissed all charges.

At the end of the day I still had not made it to the supermarket, I had a broken headlight and according to the judge - we lost the ballgame.




Z. Corwin




 

 


 

 

 

 

 

1 comment:

Pauline said...

Now that's funny!!