Tacky attire could save your life

If saying made it sew

     I sat down here to darn some socks.  The very first pair I picked up had a small hole in the toe.  “Darn-it” I said. 

      Looking at the large pile of socks before me I quickly became weary and said,

     “Darn it all.”

    OK, that's got it.

Hey kid...

Never be the sap in your family tree.

Lets see just how complicated we can make it

You're driving along a quiet country road and it starts to rain.

Rain drops hit your windshield.  Eventually it rains harder and now your vision is becoming obstructed. 

Wouldn't it be nice if there were some simple way to wipe off the windshield as you drive.

Hey wait!  There is.  

But my windshield wipers are old and worn.  They no longer smoothly and quietly wipe away the rain.

So you go to your local wiper store and leaf through the massive book to find which wipers are right for your car.

"Here, these should work."

You get them home and open the package.

The instructions give you simple, easy-to-follow, step by step

directions on how to take the old wipers off and how to assemble and install the new wipers.

   

OK, see what I did there?  That last sentence isn't true.

I made it all up. 

The people in charge of designing wiper blades are nuts.

I'm serious.  Look at that instruction sheet.

Really?

Get some help people.

Ground Control

The Maintenance Department has the lever on order.

Larry forgot to hang the Out of Order sign on the control panel.

The return home sequence had automatically started last night.

The morning crew discovered the missing lever and could not complete the sequence.

 The Base Commander had to notify the orbiting crew their return home would be postponed until further notice.

That was two weeks ago.  The missing lever is on back-order.

We're just waiting...

Larry has been unavailable for comment.

Don't play with the ball in the house

Hearts get broken.

Cuba Libre

I've never known what makes one thing

become art over another.

I have seen paintings by the great masters

that leave me questioning society's judgement,

and yet, I can look at a simple photograph

and thoroughly enjoy the mystery behind it.

I notice the questionable craftsmanship

of the window screen,  the use of used bricks

in the construction of the dwelling and the lack of ice

in the drink.

It leaves me wondering,  

Is the beverage the only thing here

that's out on a ledge?

I was never really any good

at drawing a bath.

but taking a picture of one...

no problem.

(Sorry.  That was lame, even for me).