That's irony

 

 

Hyphenated

 

 

Non-hyphenated

 

(I always thought growing old would take longer)



A Pillow without a Blanket is just a Coffin

 

I’d like a skylight in my coffin

just to watch the worms go by

Erosion may eventually

allow a view of sky

I’d like a faucet and a drinking glass

and somewhere put a drain

I’ll need a favorite tune or melody

stuck here in my brain

I’d like a cell phone

free of monthly dues

and a credit card to boot

A PO Box in someplace nice

somewhere to stash my loot

I’ll need some wheels along my coffin

like a soapbox derby ride

A steering wheel and mirrors

with flames on either side

I’ll need to scoot around in Heaven

be a blur around the place

For I’ve done some things while here on earth

that no one can erase

I’ll need a sidecar on my coffin

with springs that flex and bend

should I come across an angel

that would dare to be my friend.

 

The Fall

They were filled with all the warmth and excitement that springtime can bring.  The sight of new baby leaves popping from the tree branches gave them a new hope.  They thought for sure that all was going to be fine.

But they'd be wrong.

Soon it was summer, and every tree was filled with leaves and song birds and they provided shade for picnics.  People everywhere believed it would last forever.

But they'd be wrong.

Eventually the season changed.  Cold winds blew in from the north, and it wasn't long until all the wonderful leaves burst into amazing colors.  Neighborhoods rejoiced, and suggested this wonderful display was itself the reason for leaves; of course - they'd be wrong.

Finally the color faded, leaves drifted to earth like a silent funeral procession, mourners grabbed their rakes, suggesting this to be the final act.

But they'd be wrong.

Hiding just overhead, tucked in like kittens in a box, thousands of leaves lay sleeping in the house gutters.  Home owners believed this to be a cruel trick played on them each year by Mother Nature, forcing them to climb rickety ladders.  They just knew this was the final straw.

But they were wrong.

Atop the ladder, stretching, reaching to gather the leaves from the gutter, Mother Nature’s left foot kicks the ladder out from under them.  Now they dangle from their finger tips – the sharp edge of the gutter is telling them to let go, but surely, as they hang there like a ripe leaf flapping in the wind, they think one of their neighbors will come to their rescue.

But they’d be wrong.

 

 

People on Bicycles

Lately I find I grow weary waiting for the coffee maker to drip coffee into my mug.

It isn't so much that I'm in a hurry to drink my coffee because I always have to let it cool before taking a sip.

While waiting I usually contemplate the humans I know.  For example:  no matter how tall or short they are - each of their feet is exactly a foot long.  And here's one, no matter the shape of their head - their nose is always the scenter of their face.

Now comes the part I don't get; none of them have punctuation.  They are all continuous run-on persons.  There are no comas between each finger and only a potential dash between toes.  And get this, sometimes their eyebrows say exclamation mark, but try and find one.

Anyway, my coffee is ready now.

Take care. 

 

 

 

In my Quest for the Perfect Breakfast...

 

I left no scone unturned.

 

 



The Recipe

 

 

...called for shaved chocolate.

 

 



Escaping through yonder window

Always with a quick retort 
Not only as a last resort
she'll cut through all the verbal haze
to point the error of my ways,
Sarcastic is her way of life
Known to all who've met my wife
Had Shakespeare such a way to go
He'd known where art his Romeo.

 

 

Authority. Figures...

 

 

...so I go to visit my friend who is in the hospital.  As I enter, the security guard tells me to empty all my pockets into the plastic tray and to walk through the body scanner, which I do.

 

Then he asks me why I have a camera case on my belt.  "I like taking pictures.  I always carry my camera."

 

Well, he says, you can't have that around here.  They don't want any pictures taken.  If you take that out of the case while you are here you'll have to leave the building.

 

OK, fine.  As I proceed to walk through the halls, searching for my friend's room, I see an amazing amount of people with cell phones.  Now I'm wondering to myself if that security guard has the slightest clue what cell phones can do. 

 

I should have paid closer attention to his badge.  I'll bet it was issued in 1950.

 

 

 

This is ZC

and the above is a true story