Loose Lips

 



Because the window ledge was at an angle I placed a rubber jar opener under my Rum & Coke to keep it from sliding off.

 

The two of us sat there and discussed world issues, crab grass and dog walkers as they made their way through the neighborhood.  All very important topics.

 

It wasn’t until we got up to head back into the house that we noticed the place was bugged.


 

 

 

I was sorry we brought up the crab grass.

 

 

 

 

 



The Shed

 

It was perhaps a little larger than a shed should be

 

a regular roof

 

windows –

 

and a door,

 

but no larger than a good sized kitchen.

 

It had been painted with age itself - with various seasons tugging at it over the years

 

just waiting for it to quit –

 

collapse with exhaustion

 

to become rubble.

 

It was such a building that beckoned canvas and oil

 

But the hand holding the brush would have to be old

 

and shake - as a frail branch trying to support an arrogant squirrel.

 

Within my mental image

 

the shed suffers no rot or decay

 

just as the artist who paints it remains free of aches and impairments

 

Life in my thoughts is void of funerals and landfills

 

It is absent of mildew and cancers.

 

Even the music has been treated to keep it from becoming stuck in my head.

 

 

 

(I try to think of everything)

 

zc

 

 

an avid wearer of shoes... and yet

Mine is the watch that fails to keep time.

 

My experience is in the wrong field…

 

My degrees cover the wrong subjects –

 

 My art hangs askew,

and mine-

 

is never the greener grass.

 

After the fact –

 

I always think of the adjective I should have used.

 

 

 

Summer Catalogs

 

 

 

The heavy catalogs came last week

 

With their rich, glossy thickness

 

Each page showing the promise of luxury

 

by day’s end

 

the postman’s shoulder

 

required

restoration hardware

 

 

Hardly Curious

The light streaming in  through the window is old and illuminates the dust in the air.  It seems a lazy beam, hardly warming the cat curled up on the carpet, but it also falls across the foot of my coffin and I can see the dust helps to light my way; sparkling like the stars at night.

Everyone’s thoughts are so loud.  If they only knew.  As I ascend the voices begin to fade, though not hers.  Grief stricken she clinches perhaps too tightly to her handkerchief and fights to hold back the tears, yet her focus is strong and I can hear her every thought. 

In life I would have had an immediate urge to respond, to reply – saying, “Hey, I’m right here.  It’s OK.”  But I feel no urge, no sense of urgency.  There is nothing but calm.  I seem to have an understanding that she will be alright.  I somehow have awareness that her health is strong and she will make the adjustment with the aid of her friends.

Momentarily the cat glances up at me.  I give him a wink but he puts his head down and goes back to sleep.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 to 3

 

 

It is the promise of tomorrow that gives us today’s courage.

 

                                                                     zc

 

 

Actual Post starts here:

 

Greetings,

 

I am back from my adventure.  My shoes are worn, my nerves shot and my lucky stars thanked. 

 

What began as a simple trip to the supermarket ended up with a state appointed attorney explaining my options - but let me back up a minute.

 

Armed with my shopping list I got into my car and headed out of the neighborhood towards the main road.  Just a few houses up on the right was a parked UPS truck.

 

  Just as I was going by – the driver of the truck stepped out onto the road but lost his footing and fell backward into the path of my car.  There was absolutely no time to brake, or swerve.  The front of my car hit him with an awful thud.  I slammed on the brakes, letting out a scream at the same time.  I instantly felt sick as a terrible shock ran up my spine.

 

I quickly got out of my car and went around to the front.  The UPS driver was sprawled out on the pavement and appeared to be unconscious.  As I knelt down to see if he was breathing I pulled my cell phone from my pocket to call 911.

 

I had not yet turned my phone on and so I pressed the on button and waited for a signal.  I didn’t want to touch the driver in case he had neck or back injuries, but I also didn’t want to just kneel there waiting for my phone.  I thought about running up to one of the houses to request help but then thought that some nosy neighbor would report they saw me running from the scene.  There would be no explaining that without sounding like a lunatic.  I opted to wait for my phone to come to life.

 

Just then I heard the UPS dispatch person coming from the driver’s radio.  I jumped up and into the truck and picked up the microphone. 

 

“Hello, this is a citizen; your driver has been injured.”

 

Where is he?

 

“He is currently lying in the road.”

 

Who is delivering the packages?

 

“Right now, nobody.”

 

Are you kidding me?  Put him on the phone!

 

“He’s not really conscious.”

 

Who did you say you are?

 

“I was driving by when your driver fell in front of my car.  It really wasn’t my fault.”

 

Do you see his electronic clipboard anywhere?

 

“Yes, it’s right here on the road.”

 

Pick it up and tell me what his last delivery was.

 

“Can’t you send an ambulance or something?”

 

Just read the address to me, the one on the screen.

 

“Wait, my phone just got a signal.  I’m calling 911.”

 

There was a long and complicated sequence of events that followed.  There was a prosecuting attorney who said I was responsible for keeping my vehicle under control no matter what.

There was my lawyer, supplied by the state, who kept questioning me as to why I didn’t deliver the UPS packages, and there eventually was a judge who I believe was listening to the ballgame through a small earpiece.  Really, I mean we all could see the wire.

Anyway, come to find out, it wasn't the UPS driver who I hit with my car but a manikin he was attempting to deliver.  It accidently got away from him as he was trying to carry it out of the truck.  It bounced off of the truck step and out into the path of my car.  I was so upset I didn't even notice it wasn't a real person.  All I noticed was it wasn't breathing.

The driver, seeing the accident he had just caused, scooted to the back of his truck and hid behind the boxes.

Eventually it all got sorted out when the emergency room doctor called the courthouse asking if this was some kind of joke.

No one thought it was funny except the judge, who snickered a little and then dismissed all charges.

At the end of the day I still had not made it to the supermarket, I had a broken headlight and according to the judge - we lost the ballgame.




Z. Corwin




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always Five After

 

 

 

I really liked the painting over the fireplace

but at the time I tried to snap a picture of it

I was wearing an eye patch.

 

Had I held the camera up to my good eye

when I took the picture I may have gotten
the shot I wanted instead of this.

 

 

The small container on the stack of books was

purchased at J. Peterman many years ago.

 

It contains dried seeds and a powder

that has a fragrance so pleasantly mystical

that even the slightest whiff stops time.

I know this because exactly 12 hours ago
was when I opened the lid and took a smell
and I can see it is still five after.



 

 

 

 

 



Man vs Squirrel

After a few failed attempts I believe I have finally placed a bird feeder in the backyard that the squirrels cannot immediately empty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This picture was taken three minutes

after the feeder was hung and it was still full.

 

 

 

 

 

We'll go ahead and consider this a success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

However...

 

 

 

 

That night we discovered

another interested party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



She was always more of an arsonist than a chef

 

 

 

and one of the few people who can burn water.

 

 

The 500th Post

 

 

Thank you for missing me.

 

 

 

(Still kid friendly - and now with Sea Salt)



Sometimes People Find Their Way Into Your Heart

 

 

On far too many occasions

they find their way into this building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is for my good friend Sam who always wanted to be a model.

I would have taken more pictures but the boss thought we were goofing off.

 

 

 



Cache for the Antiqurian

I have buried a gem somewhere in this blog.  I have labored over it with intense focus and passion.  It was never intended as a game but simply placed there to delight its finder.  Not unlike an archeological dig but using keyboard and monitor instead of shovel and lantern to unearth bones of thought.

Time, with its erosive nature may ultimately distort, but with gentle brushing - careful to remove superfluous punctuation and adjusting for any change of tense the gem will shine and the underlying philosophy will remain intact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Ponderous Whiff

 

 

 

 

   

The Fragrance of Ambiguity

is Difficult to Discern

 

 

Well, when you say it like that...

A friend of mine told me she was going to New Orleans to see Chicago.

This made me think of the time I went to Alphabet City and heard someone say they had B's for Sale.